Dating during a pandemic? Let’s do this!

by Gabe Weigle 9/28/2020

How to Date During a Pandemic

There is no playbook for surviving a pandemic, nor is there one for dating, so I am going to give you a few guidelines to follow as you get to know someone during a pandemic.  With so many ways to communicate these days, it is hard to know which tools to use and how often to use them as you navigate this brave new world of dating during a pandemic.  Unfortunately, there are not many dating manuals leftover from the Bubonic Plague or the Spanish Flu because people were, ya know, trying to stay alive.  These days, staying alive is a lot easier!  So, yeah!  Let’s over analyze dating during a pandemic!

Take your time

When getting to know someone, keep in mind that they are also navigating this strange situation.  It might take a little longer than usual before they are ready to meet you in person.  This makes sense and will give you time to make sure that your potential mate is wearing a mask appropriately and that the mask isn’t made of leather and zippers.  Though, if you are into that, you still need to build trust before you get into that level of kink.  Now you have a chance to really get to know someone before you meet them in person, which is great and leads to a strong sense of intimacy.  Just do not memorize everything that you chatted about.  It is probably not a great idea to say, “I know right! Just like on our 3^rd video chat at the 4:15 minute mark when you sneezed on the screen and were like, ‘You might want get tested!’ and we both laughed.  Then 27 seconds later at the 4:42 mark, I sneezed and was like, ‘Well, great, now I have it.’ It’s just so us!”  This level of detail will make most people nervous, and rightfully so.  Experts claim that singles are being more patient with potential connections. For example, single people now seem more open to having more conversations with their potential partner, even if they turn you off during a certain interaction.  This is great if you accidentally talk about an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend too much.  So, get out there and be yourself!  We have got time for it!

Make sure the conversation does not go too long, unless you two love birds are soul mates

“Don’t chat too long!” “Make an excuse to leave the convo even you have no where to go.”  “Don’t get to drunk!”  These are all things I have heard as recommendations on what not to do during your Zoom date.  I just want to let you know that this is all terrible advice! No good relationship starts by playing games with each other.  If you two love birds talk until 3 a.m., that doesn’t necessarily mean the other person simply can’t figure out how to hang up the Zoom call.  Though, if that was the case, that would be amazing.  Have a bunch of drinks with the other person on Zoom! It’s a pandemic, let’s get after it!

If you are drinking like your life depends on it and the person you are chatting with is drinking a hot tea while talking about being a Young Life leader who had a glass of wine once, you might want to pump the brakes.  Listen, we need to connect with each other on a deeper level in 2020 now more than ever, so if it takes two boxes of wine or a 14 hour call, do that!  As long as you both are getting something positive out it, it doesn’t matter how the hell its done!

Have a meaningful conversation

People are skipping the small talk these days and diving right into meaningful conversation.  I mean, isn’t that what you should be doing anyway?  People always say you have to remain a little mysterious to keep someone interested.  Wouldn’t you want the person to—I don’t know—like you for who you are?  It’s so much fun to talk about what shows you are watching and why your roommate is in the mafia.  I want to know if you think climate change is real or if you think the world is flat.  What do you think about what’s going on in society?  If you are looking for a partner in life, wouldn’t you want to know what they think about those things?  As you can see, I hate small talk (unless you think the world is flat…then I am all years Magellan!)

Be a good communicator

Due to the pandemic, it is important to share with the person you are dating who you are interacting with and what kind of measures you are taking against the disease.  You need to make time to share phone calls or walks together so you can get to know each other better.  It is important to tell this person how you feel and express that you would like to continue in chatting with them.  Again, why the hell have you not been looking for this before?! I love it when I make out with someone and they disappear for three weeks, only to text me at midnight with a “Sup” a month after they disappeared.  It is like being haunted by the laziest ghost ever!  “Hey yeah I know I scared you a month ago and haven’t shown up since but it was just getting weird between us and I needed some space but I want to see where this goes.”  Okay, emotionally damaged ghost, get your shit together before you start trying that crap. 

What were people doing before? Just settling with shallow partners who cared more about their status than their character?  Was anyone taking time to consider whether they were even in a good space to date?  You do know you need to get your shit figured about before you ruin someone else, right?  So, yeah, I like google calendar and when a potential partner says, “I really like you. Let’s make out!”  Ya got a problem come at me bro!

Can we get down and durrrty?

People have been having more “cyber” experiences with each other.  It can take many forms, from showering together to taking a bath with a glass of wine, which may actually be the safest sex possible. Though, the real danger here is the electronics. I mean once that laptop flops in the tub or if you drop your cell phone in the shower and they catch a weird shot of your under carriage, it’s game over to your relationship.  These could be disastrous outcomes to a fun night! Also, make sure you trust the other person when you are doing anything intimate online.  I mean, the last thing you want when you finish is to hear your partner to say, “That’s a wrap!” and a dude with a boom mic comes out of the background of your beau’s apartment.  “Great work, Kelly.  Lots of passion!  Love your work!”  Be careful out there getting naughty on the webs so you don’t have an unsolicited sex tape floating around.  It worked for the Kardashians entire family, but did it really work for them?

The Pandemic might be helping us

A lot of people are saying that it has been nice how the current pandemic has slowed us down, allowing us to take time to connect and really get to know each other.  This new pace of life allows many of us to now consider taking the time to make deeper connections with people close to us or who we  want closer to us.  When reading all of the tips on dating during a pandemic, basically just remember to be open, honest, and share the things that mean a lot to you to with the other person. Without the ability to judge someone on the restaurant they took you to or the car they drove or any other of the “things” people look for in a mate, people are now able to really  see the other person.  A simple conversation with no distractions really does present the opportunity for authentic connection because  we’re all looking for a partner to make our lives better and more meaningful.  So, get out there (or online!) and look for those conversations!